I’m not afraid of the big bad church

Despite Christians arguing otherwise my experience of Christianity is that it is based on fear, not grace and love as promoted. In response to my experiences in fundamentalist Christianity I try to live my life with critical thought and not make decisions based on fear. However one issue I have found hard to resolve is what to do when my children’s paternal grandparents want to take them to church/Sunday school. I don’t want to lay down a blanket rule of “no church”, that would just make my kids want to go, but on the other hand I don’t want my children to be targets for shameless Jesus recruitment drives.

To be honest, I’ve been afraid and that has really irked me.

I have since discovered a blog The Meming of Life and am following Dale McGowan’s videos for Parenting Beyond Belief. I have yet to read the Parenting Beyond Belief book – it’s on my “to buy” list – but meanwhile the videos have been great. Each video is helping me let go of my worries and giving me reasons and tools to empower my children to think about religion for themselves. Dale McGowan outlines 4 reasons why religious literacy is important:

1. So they can better understand the world

2. To empower them

3. To help them make their own informed choice

4. To prevent the “teen epiphany”

It’s point number 4 that really got me. Mc Gowan explains that when teens hit that teen crisis of confidence and are looking for an anchor, they will probably encounter this:

Teen Christian Friend: “Do you know Jesus?”

Your Teen: “No”

Teen Christian Friend: “You DON’T KNOW Jesus!?!”

And then Teen Christian Friend hands an imagined solution to all Your Teen’s problems. If Your Teen isn’t religion literate then they are vulnerable to an emotional hijacking by religious fundamentalism. McGowan asserts that the more you expose your children to religious ideas and knowledge, which they are in control of, the less likely it is that they are going to head in the direction of toxic religion.

His stuff makes sense, it is relaxed, reassuring and offers something other than atheism vs. christianity. Check out the first video in PBB series:

calling a truce

LJ and I have been at loggerheads all morning. Apparently I am no longer his friend, I am not allowed to talk to him because I make him feel weird, I never play with him and I never buy him anything. This has all been emphasised with tears, shouting, door slamming and gritted teeth.

I try not to take these things personally and tell myself he is only 4, but I do find it draining. Eventually LJ decided to go to his “cave” i.e. under his bed for about half an hour, he came back in a slightly warmer mood and he hasn’t even read John Gray. He then decided he wanted to snuggle next to me. As I rested my chin on his head I reminisced aloud about the day he was born, “LJ the day you were born was a great day, you were a beautiful baby and I was so happy to have you from the first minute I saw you.” LJ snuggled in a bit more and replied “Mummy I would like to buy you a remote control flower that walks”.

And so a truce is struck…..until next time

amnesty butterflies

I’ve created a butterfly to get justice for the “Comfort Women” forced into sexual slavery during WWII. These women were held prisoner and raped for years on end, and when they were finally released, they were told never to speak out or they and their families would be murdered. Few of these women survive today, but those that do tell stories of shame and terror.www.amnesty.org.au/comfort